As Emma walked into the conference room, she could taste the tension. A major project deadline had been missed, and her team was strung. Some were blaming each other, while others sat in silence, avoiding eye contact. Emma took a deep breath and reminded herself of one crucial skill that had helped her throughout her career:
Rather than succumb to the impulse to leap into loud action, she controlled her breathing, settled her emotions, paused, observed, and listened. Eventually the passions settled and her calm presence centred the room:
“I understand this is a stressful situation,” she began, her voice calm yet firm. “Let’s figure out what went wrong and how we can fix it together.”
Instantly, the atmosphere shifted. The team felt heard instead of persecuted and rather than fueling conflict, they started focusing on solutions.
Understanding Emotional Intelligence vs. Emotional Quotient and the rapidly growing impact of Emotional Resourcefulness (ER)
EI and Emotional Quotient (EQ) are often confused but have distinct meanings:
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions—both in oneself and others. The concept was popularized by psychologists like Daniel Goleman.
Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the measurable score of a person’s emotional intelligence, much like IQ measures cognitive ability.
In short, EI is the skill, and EQ is the measurement of that skill.
ER, or Emotional Resourcefulness, on the other hand, is the extent to which we use EI and the ends to which it is put.
Typical of human nature, there is inevitably a darker side to emotional control.
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters
Emma’s ability to navigate stressful situations highlights why EI is essential. It impacts how we interact with others, manage stress, and make decisions. Used properly it can generate win/win outcomes for all parties. Here’s why it’s so important:
- Stronger Relationships – EI fosters empathy, communication, and conflict resolution, improving personal and professional connections.
- Better Leadership & Teamwork – Emotionally intelligent leaders, like Emma, inspire trust and collaboration.
- Smarter Decision-Making – High-EIQ individuals stay rational under pressure, leading to better problem-solving benefitting all concerned.
- Greater Resilience & Stress Management – EI helps in handling setbacks with grace and perseverance.
- Enhanced Self-Awareness & Growth – Understanding emotions leads to better self-regulation and fulfilment.
The Growing Need for Emotional Intelligence
Two decades ago, leadership was about authority. Today, it’s about influence. EI continues to rise on polls assessing the importance of leadership traits. So why is EI become increasingly important?
- Workplace Evolution – Collaborative leadership requires emotional intelligence.
- Rising Workplace Stress – The pandemic and economic challenges have increased stress, making EI a survival skill.
- Technological Shifts – As automation takes over technical tasks, soft skills like empathy and adaptability become more valuable.
- Changing Expectations – Employees and consumers expect emotionally intelligent interactions.
- Mental Health Awareness – Organizations prioritize psychological safety, increasing EI’s importance.
- Different Generations and more diversity at Work – Very different behavioural norms are at play simultaneously calling for more than a single-size response.
How to Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence and become more Emotionally Resourceful
Improving EI and converting it to ER takes practice. Emma didn’t always have it—she developed it. Leadership development programmes and initiatives increasingly focus around cultivating EQ to:
Develop Self-Awareness – Reflect on emotions and seek feedback.
Improve Self-Regulation – Pause before reacting and develop strategies for managing stress effectively.
Strengthen Empathy – Actively listen and consider others’ perspectives.
Enhance Social Skills – Communicate clearly and resolve conflicts constructively.
Stay Motivated & Positive – Set meaningful goals and build resilience.
There are steps that we can all take in our everyday interactions, especially when using “social” technology.
Emotional Intelligence in the Digital World
Online communication lacks tone and body language, making EI even more vital:
Pause Before Posting – Avoid impulsive reactions.
Regulate Emotions Online – Don’t engage in digital conflicts.
Practice Digital Empathy – Read messages carefully and assume good intent.
Manage Social Media Stress – Take breaks, restore agency over your devices and cultivate a positive online space.
Leaders and Emotional Intelligence
Emma’s leadership success stems from her EI. Here’s how leaders can improve their own:
Develop Self-Awareness – Recognize and manage emotional triggers.
Enhance Self-Regulation – Retain agency. Stay composed under pressure.
Cultivate Empathy – Validate emotions, listen deliberately and understand team concerns.
Improve Communication – Provide clear, constructive feedback. Involve and consult more.
Inspire & Motivate Teams – Align goals with values and celebrate achievements.
The Perception of Gen Z & Victimhood
Emotional Intelligence is a trans-generational challenge but is especially relevant to digital natives. Some say Gen Z “claims victimhood” more than previous generations. The truth, of course, is more nuanced:
Mental Health Awareness – Gen Z is open about struggles, reducing stigma.
Social Media’s Influence – Visibility of challenges creates perception biases.
Advocacy vs. Endurance – Gen Z pushes for systemic change instead of suffering in silence.
Cultural Shifts – Emotional intelligence is more valued, reducing tolerance for outdated behaviours.
Economic & Global Challenges – Rising costs and instability make struggles real and valid.
Over-Personalization of Struggles
Over-personalization happens when common challenges feel like personal injustices:
Workplace Challenges – Viewing feedback as an attack instead of an opportunity.
Economic Hardships – Blaming external factors without personal accountability.
Social Disagreements – Treating differing opinions as personal attacks.
Why does this happen?
Social Media Algorithms amplify emotional responses.
Awareness of Inequality makes struggles feel deeply personal.
Therapy-Speak in Daily Life sometimes misuses psychological terms.
Validation Culture reinforces certain mindsets.
Balancing Awareness & Responsibility
Acknowledge real issues but recognize personal agency.
Separate emotions from facts.
Focus on solutions, not just problems.
Build resilience through adaptability.
Cutting to the Chase
Emma didn’t start as a naturally emotionally intelligent leader. She took opportunities. She learned from mistakes and successes. She listened. She grew. Emotional intelligence is a skill—one that can be developed to build stronger relationships, make better decisions, and lead with confidence. In today’s world, it’s not just a “nice-to-have”—it’s essential. But the cynics persist.
The Power and Pitfalls of Sensitivity:
Do you remember when sensitive people were simply called “too emotional”? Back then, sensitivity was often ridiculed—seen as a weakness or a lack of resilience. The world celebrated the “tough” ones: stoic, unbothered, and emotionally untouchable.
But with time and experience, a new truth has emerged: sensitivity is not weakness—it’s awareness and that can be a resource.
Sensitive people feel deeply. Their emotional radar picks up subtle cues that others miss. They notice tone shifts, body language, undercurrents in conversations. This makes them intuitive, creative, and often, deeply empathetic. In a world where much is different, daily, that values emotional connection and psychological safety, these traits are powerful and potentially beneficial or resourceful
Yet, like any strength, sensitivity has its challenges. Left unchecked, it can become overwhelming—like trying to navigate the world with the volume turned up too high. Or it can be used for malign or selfish intent. But when developed and managed well, it becomes the foundation of true emotional intelligence.
Not all sensitivity, however, is the same.
Some individuals use their emotional awareness not for connection, but for control. Think of the spider weaving an emotional web—carefully crafted to ensnare. These are the passive-aggressive manipulators. They recognise the resourceful potential of emotional connection and create buzz and attention with few moral boundaries, stir up conflict, play the victim, and exploit empathy to get their way. It’s a distorted form of emotional intelligence: awareness without integrity.
In the digital age, this manipulation readily finds fertile ground and reward. Social media becomes the web. A single emotionally charged post—crafted to outrage or trigger—can spiral into viral influence. These “emotional spiders” gain validation through likes, shares, and attention. They thrive not on connection, but on control.
This is the darker side of emotional intelligence—where empathy becomes strategy, and emotions are tools for manipulation rather than understanding.
But let’s not confuse this with true emotional intelligence.
True EI empowers. It’s about building bridges, not burning them. It helps leaders inspire, teams collaborate, and individuals grow. It recognizes the power of emotion—but grounds it in self-awareness, empathy, and responsibility.
So where does that leave us?
It’s a delicate balance. Emotions and sensitivity have fast become commodities. Emotional intelligence or resourcefulness is a tool, and like any tool, it can be used to create or destroy.
Will we use our sensitivity to connect, uplift, and understand?
Or will we weaponize emotion to manipulate, dominate, and divide?
In a world overflowing with noise, buzz, outrage, and emotional overwhelm, tuning into our emotional intelligence—with integrity—at home and at work – is not just wise. It’s essential. This is why we’re seeing such a rapid rise in emotional intelligence as a characteristic trait or competency that leaders need to master in order to become and remain future fit. It’s no longer the domain of the artist too sensitive for business. In many regards, like it or not, it is modern business.
So how are you helping your leaders navigate and develop these skills to remain future fit?
(Mosaic Partners’ trademarked Future Focused Leadership Traits, just part of the Mosaic Magic suite)